After Japan

my bestintheworld sis featuring the glorious butt of nara deer my love

Kansai was ridiculously familiar.

Deer and grass and momijis and wet silver spiderweb in the morning

I watched a schoolboy-ish baseball game from afar

(>100m?).

Crows were many. Lovely but I’d imagine children scoot away often, but they didn’t.

I enjoyed nara. Enjoy is not precise, actually, since it means I en the joy, which means that I activated some kind of joy in nara, which means that nara received a joy from me instead of the opposite, which was not the case. (although I can’t possibly know).

Nara incites tranquil chasm I can easily relive but not by photo

Like, a childhood backyard

Meanwhile osaka

I apparently didn’t appreciate Osaka well enough.

Osaka sidewalks and glicoman and bridges and heiji-ness

And rivers and universal city and honey water (was that Kyoto?)

I can’t help but feel sorry that

I can’t remember being in on par delight with how splendid they were

I’ll get back to you,

I’ll stop by to savor some takoyakis first thing because I have a feeling it’ll help.

Not a day I passed here without thinking about takoyaki (for real)

Takoyakis are great. I found some here and they’re cheap imitations but even them, they’re great.

And Kyoto!!!!!

Kyoto as a city itself!!!!!!

Nara is easily a favorite, Osaka is where I’ll go back to, Kyoto is how I remember Japan

I regret not riding a bike once.

I was not in a good condition then but I happen to ingrain a lot more than I consciously do so

(just realized it here)

Visual memories are occupied by Kyoto! Kyoto! Kyoto! And some Nara and a few Osaka

Or maybe because we were with muthi, who gave meaning to pictures, which makes it makes sense that I remember them.

Talking about muthi

Neighborhood……and sunflower seeds…………..best part

When ppl remember, it’s either they respect the information or they find it somehow interesting, either way it’s good, and that’s where she never fails to impress, she remembers.

Despite my initial excitement I hate meeting rosyad because I didn’t know what to say and I hate not knowing what to say and I hate feeling sorry, because I felt sorry (sorry), but despite this, too, I laugh at the memory, and it feels good now, though it didn’t back then. Glad we met. Drat I want a cell now.

Talking about muthi, again….

This is what pushed me to inscribe Japan exp.

She said something before May 5 6 7, not related & not discussed but got emphasized while I was there..

She said, that, life’s not a race.

Story’s familiar but I left a life of (what I think is) passion, after making some friends here and there.

I had roots there. I still get flashes of updates of them anywhere,

What they have became, what they have achieved, how much they love what they do

I can’t help thinking what I could’ve become.

Although as The Man dearly pointed out ‘CYBER BULLYING DOES NOT EXIST GURL GOT BULLIED GURL CLOSE UR DAMN LAPTOP WALK AWAY HAHAHAHAHA……’ which in my situation means if it bothers me I just have to stop peeking but I love that life, remember, so I can’t do no gurl close my laptop walk away, yo

So life is not a race really helps.

I know what I am doing now is right, but it still bothered me, but this is better for me than if I stayed,

Almost guaranteed better at least to my sanity knowing I am not wasting the channels I am blessed with,

Like knowing a granted power and utilizing it for the better of people,

Like a physicist who has access to labs and science-dom,

Whose city needs a supply of techie techie to survive,

And knows he’s the one with power,

And although he prefers, imagines, likes pursuing career in cubicle,

He put on his anti-heat glasses,

Accessing that corner in interest-sphere

And utilizes it.

Right.

So when I see my friends doing things I am not able to commit into because situations, I have to constantly remind myself, life is not a race. I’m happy I came across the mindset. So thank you.

As long as we’re doing our best, our pace is right.

Life is not a race.

I am not as tight-throated now as I was

It does not bother me anymore.

Now I feel the longing whenever I listened to a really rich religious lecture,

So I think this is a good sign,

That my cousins’ commitment to arabic or hadith or verses does something to me,

Because really the more you learn the more you feel stupid

And seeing them advancing speedily to seize religion

This is a race,

Definitely.

So, one last thing;

Race thou

In doing good deeds!

You know I don’t only mean good religious deeds.

Thanks to my sis who

Despite my unconcealable indifference

Tried her hardest to bring Japan to my life.

Still don’t know why you did that.

Please do know it was really great,

You were very patient, still don’t know how you did that,

But I had a good time, so really, thank you…

if i were in this article

i-d is always interesting.

(been a year)

It’s a phase but I haven’t jinxed it so it stays.

(now I have)

Talqas s.

FR

FR was born out of hands which gave birth to in-the-moment prose and pamphlets. Talqas S, 21, is a keen audience who waited till the credit roll ends every time. “The world is so full of impressions, you know? It affects us from every different direction. I need to see those in prints,” she explains. Her thick interest reflected in the zine’s pages, where blurred and seemingly amateur images from local photographers gain meaning by the rich accompanying prose. Articles, which do not take form of exactly articles, are written by professional media workers, in tune with FR’s borderlessness as though an extension of one single soul. Beth Ditto pages following Sunny Side Up walkthrough—FR gives a taste of curated personified abstracts. Although unfortunately, sales says, smudgy chasm doesn’t sell. “I don’t mind. FR is personal and it’s every kind of raw experience. Prints are raw. Luxury. It’s kinda inevitable, see, because deep impressions do not go unmanifested. I want people to see how much inspiration inspires when you let it be. I want people to be deep-rooted to their here so I made this.”

That’s pretty much how my profile will turn out

Though not FR

It’s a representation of everything wild in my life but no FR for name.

And most certainly not Talqas…been trying to find a name for that life…that compartment…very difficult

we chase the splendid because we've never seen something greater.

i don't mind dying in a pursuit of God

even if i do it my whole life and don't find Him in the end.

what i fear is dying

while

i persist learning

for the sake of learning

while

i work up a life

for the sake of living.

and michael you would fall, and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

long lost

very first contact w with art was through a playmate of mine

she's a well-groomed kid,

coming from money

hard-faced soft features

but her lasting, lasting impression was

her 

somewhat

against-the-world ness.

she was just a kid and i'm not glorifying.

she had no friend, now that i think about it

it didn't matter then

it didn't matter now.

she was poignant.

i was so attracted to her; i remember being her only playmate

she'd talk, i'd listen

she'd do things, i'd laugh

she'd say something weird i'd think it over and over

we didn't really play, more like

she played and i played along.

there's a lot of things she did that mesmerized me

ga unearthly but i was a kid and it was strange.

kl sekarang w mikirin the idea of her being

it's, like, something i'd imagine as art introducing itself to me

'hi i'm art'

tanpa w pernah baca atau peduli what art is.

bc i was just a kid.

terus menambah ke artsy annya

she moved when we were eleven.

i rushed to her 45mins away house with my mother and caught the car literally closing its doors

so she opened, ran home, and gave away the stuffed bear

and i gave her my gift.

w inget w gapernah associate her with any kind of attachment,

she's just there and i was just a constantly on feet-edge, participative spectator,

so it was surprising that i cried very, very hard.

she didnt cry of course (why didn't she???).

although susah didefine

it was a relationship i genuinely value.

but as i am acutely allergic to foreign familiarity

w gamau 

ketemu lagi

i'll preserve her concept, her memory 

but that'll be that.

art is a big part of my life now so

in a way

she is,

too.


(((hello from the other side)))

barf