very first contact w with art was through a playmate of mine
she's a well-groomed kid,
coming from money
hard-faced soft features
but her lasting, lasting impression was
her
somewhat
against-the-world ness.
she was just a kid and i'm not glorifying.
she had no friend, now that i think about it
it didn't matter then
it didn't matter now.
she was poignant.
i was so attracted to her; i remember being her only playmate
she'd talk, i'd listen
she'd do things, i'd laugh
she'd say something weird i'd think it over and over
we didn't really play, more like
she played and i played along.
there's a lot of things she did that mesmerized me
ga unearthly but i was a kid and it was strange.
kl sekarang w mikirin the idea of her being
it's, like, something i'd imagine as art introducing itself to me
'hi i'm art'
tanpa w pernah baca atau peduli what art is.
bc i was just a kid.
terus menambah ke artsy annya
she moved when we were eleven.
i rushed to her 45mins away house with my mother and caught the car literally closing its doors
so she opened, ran home, and gave away the stuffed bear
and i gave her my gift.
w inget w gapernah associate her with any kind of attachment,
she's just there and i was just a constantly on feet-edge, participative spectator,
so it was surprising that i cried very, very hard.
she didnt cry of course (why didn't she???).
although susah didefine
it was a relationship i genuinely value.
but as i am acutely allergic to foreign familiarity
w gamau
ketemu lagi
i'll preserve her concept, her memory
but that'll be that.
art is a big part of my life now so
in a way
she is,
too.
(((hello from the other side)))